so yeah. what now? may i ask why now? why after its been a month plus ago and now? why when i already moved on. and why when i guess you already moved on. so yeah. WHY? what do you want from me? youve already found someone who's better than me. so why? i just dont get it. i dont want to find fault or what but still. i must have a say too. oh yeah. so if we could turn back time which is impossible, i guess we shouldnt really rush things like you said. and do you remember our first month? do you, at the memorial, with your two friends having guys talk when i was sitting at the side alone. i overheard you guys and you lied to me. you lied on the very first month. you said you still were, when you werent. you could just have told the truth cant you? it may not be a big deal whether you was or not but still you could have just said it and not lie. it then started all those arguments. every time we always argue. it never stops. it starts with me and sometimes it starts with you too. i cared fer you. even from the start. but im sorry. like you said im obsessed with you? isit wrong of me to meet you? since you dont want to practice that, okay fine. different ppl has different ways. but i know i had loved you. on my birthday, on the eve of my birthday, we were out with your friends. i was the one who told you it was already my birthday. i wondered if you even remembered. but i had good memories. so yeah, dude, a friend, a good friend of mine. like how you and your friends are together. gawd, if me and him were to have something on. i wouldnt have gone on with you, i would have go on with him. and i know him waayy before i know you. and i certainly know that. hey, at least i have someone to talk to when im down and pissed with you. i need someone to talk, get it. fuck, im pissed bcos at least i didnt say names. but hell yeah. you just did. you could have just named me right. have i ever named it here, never. bbq pit with your csc friends, you asked me to tag along remember. then suddenly you said i cant since its all guys. so why ask me whether i want to go when i cant? i went back home frm sch, we argued. you said fine, you wont meet me and you wont go either. so i went to your block. i was sitting down on the staircase. i dont fuckingly know whether to tell you that im under your block or not. oooh suddenly, guessed who appears magically? with a bag, all prepared. you lied to me, exbf. i was pissed too. i cried and i walked away, you didnt chase me. fine, i sat on the bench on the opposite block. couldnt you have walked a little further just across? instead you called me. couldnt it get much more worse? soon you went off when your friends came and just left me there, crying. that was why i ask fer break. and yeah one particular night, we were walking home. your ex gf msged you. i heard your phone rang. you looked and then you deleted it. right in front of me baby. directly in front of me. when i asked who, you said no one. oh yeah, so no one msged you when your phone rang and you deleted it? how amazing. how can i not get sad over it. my friend called saying that saw you in the train. you lied to me. you said you were going back home. oh when im having dance practice, i trusted you. i thought i did when suddenly you lied. it all went away. and i didnt want to believe that that guy in the train was you. and when i asked, i thought maybe you will say something or realise about it. but you didnt. that was when it all started. i waited fer you fer one week, i hell did. i called you i msged you. alot of times, but you chose to ignore. and when you picked up, finally. thank god fer that. you'd had enough, you said. but the most hurting part was when you said you were seeing someone else already. so yeah. i was a dumb idiot waiting fer you fer one week. that was when it was all put to an end. soo it seems like we had soo much argument, i dont know when can we ever go along together peacefully. all not your fault okay darling. its all mine. happy now? i know you are happy better off right now. so yeah. i have no intentions of arguing of finding fault or whatever thing with you right now. i just need to say all these so i can clear you off my mind. not only you, but everything. everything that is on my mind. its a wrong time now, really. because of that i couldnt concentrate on my malay lessons today. im having my malay O lvl paper next week. i know you dont bother cos it doesnt concern you at all right. but do you have to ruin everything now? and i mean now. so look, get it over and done with. you head on with your life, i head on with mine. so shall we? put a fullstop to all these nonsense. i never would have want to hurt you. muhd ridzwan, you were the greatest guy ive ever had. youre a good guy. and so i did had a hard time fergetting about you. i miss all those memories we had, from the start when you dyed my hair at the carpark till the end. but some things just have to put an end to it. i feel better right now after ive cleared my thoughts here. so yeah, do take care and take care of the girl youre dating with. just be happy which you are right now. i gave up on checking your profile too. we have nothing on anymore. so why should i bother when it will only hurt me more. haha. clubbing? maybe when im 18, so see you there then. lol. so head on with your life, i'll head mine. so GOODBYE it will be fer now.

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