Sunday, April 6, 2008
its been a week already. since ive updated.
things has happened. maybe alot of things.
im not so sure myself. so its been 5 1/2 days already.
ive been counting. dont think i dont.
i dont knw whats on your mind. i dont knw what you want.
but since things has been this way. guess thats what you want it to be.
i dont knw if im dumb to wait. i doubt so you care.
i doubt so you even love me. and what? whats your excuses?
whats your reason? whats your decision?
oh, fuck my life. i dont knw, i swear i dont knw.
hais. i dont knw how to face them. how am i to tell them.
i gave excuses to avoid qns. dont ask me, all i'll say is 'i dont fuckingly knw'.
i never had the life i always wanted. there are ups and downs.
but seems this is what its meant to be. i had love you and i knw i did.
'Never say "i love you"
if you dont really care.
Never talk about feelings
if they arent really there.
Never hold my hand
if youre gonna break my heart.
Never say youre going to..
if you dont plan to start.
Never look into my eyes
if all you do is lie.
Never say hi
if you really mean goodbye.
If you really mean forever
then say you will try.
Never say forever
cos forever makes me cry..'
oh fuckhead. i gotta stop it. i gotta stop being like this.
enough saying. guess its just meant to be.
OKAY. SEEE-TOOOOPPP!
let me just update abt my days.
FRIDAY! :
got my mass run after sch at innova jc.
damn, i felt like dyingggg after the run.
never had i run like that. its a pity, im not the top ten.
oh well, i did what i could, i tried my best.
saw previn [ex-riversidian/my friend's ex] on the way home.
and so we talked since we were gg towards the same road.
then at night went to rp. fer whatever reason, you dont have to knw.
saw syira darling, sasha tawin, and others.
and i got two rp shirts. mcm paham.
so someone trying to brainwash me into rp.
gosh no, i dont wish to go there. unless im being fated there.
i'll be stuck in wlds all my life if that happens.
i'll just go where my results will lead me.(:
SATURDAY! :
went to sree narayana mission home in the afternn.
gotta go and interact with them. and i did!
i talked to this 70-year-old malay women whose on wheelchair bound.
supposingly not to ask abt family but i kind of did.
so she has 11 children, oldest age above 50, youngest 30 plus i guess.
she has grandchildren and grand^2children. how many generations i may not knw.
she's been there fer 10 days. told me bcos her children arent able to take care of her.
scared she may fall if alone. but its gd to hear her childrens do visit her.
sad it is to be in nursing care, but sometimes you have no choice.
after that went out to meet myy! and shee! .
but met anxx before that. thanks fer the food and drinks, nanny!
gawd, i miss myy, shee, everyone!
and i miss going out. its been a looong long time.
saw tiwi, alice, faisal, bimo, wan, fadli, sofea, azira, elly!, hazira, naufal, fikks and others.
alot larhs. i miss all of them.(: elly busted ehh. never see me when i right in front of you!
and i hug and carried her till we fall hard on the ground,
IN FRONT OF ALL PEOPLE! thanks ah elly. i miss you larh pantat! hahs, ILY!
sat with tiwi and all since myy and shee went back early.
then trained myself home alone. and here i am typing all these fer two hours.
and i dont feel hungry these past two days. since after the mass run.
i ate one meal a day. i dont believe im not that hungry either.
OH. PHOTOS WILL BE UPLOADED SOON.
cos i cant find where's the card reader! -.- be patient.(:
have a sweet good night darlings, love you all. ♥
12:38 AM
Kittie Perry, ♥
